Captain Citrus vs. Pepsiman
Captain Citrus vs. Pepsiman is a What-If? Death Battle by I'm Lynda. It features Captain Citrus, the mascot for the Florida Department of Citrus, and Pepsiman, the mascot for PepsiCo’s Japanese branch. Description Two corporate mascots face off in a battle that is sure to quench your thirst...for action! Interlude Boomstick: Superheroes, who doesn’t love them, right? Well, corporations realize that superheroic antics are likely to get the young people tuned in, so they’ve created their own superheroes. Wiz: Today, we are going to pit two of them against each other, in a battle of superhero versus superhero. The first one we have is Captain Citrus, the righter of wrongs, and part of every good breakfast. Boomstick: And then there’s Pepsiman, a hard-charging, two-fisted fighter who is an implacable foe of bad-guys and thirst. Wiz: I’m Wiz, and he’s Boomstick. Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Captain Citrus Wiz: Captain Citrus is not your typical superhero...Well, he is, except that he doesn’t have a tragic back-story. Which is pretty atypical. Boomstick: John Polk was born in the U.S. state of Florida, and grew up on his parent’s orange farm, dreaming about becoming a professional football player. Wiz: Then, one day, two glowing balls of light dropped out of the sky and practically landed at John’s feet. Boomstick: And what do you do when something strange and mysterious drops out of the sky? Why you grab it in your unprotected hands, of course. Wiz: And when John did that, he immediately transformed into the superhero, Captain Citrus. Captain Citrus draws his power from the life-giving Sun, and from the soil of the orange-growing region of Florida. Boomstick: He can use the energy from the Sun to shoot bolts of “solar energy” at his opponents, or to create objects made out of solid light, such as a spear and shield, and even solid items, like the solid light shields he placed over air vents that were feeding poison gas into the U.N. Wiz: Not only that, he can use this solar energy to fly. And, he can absorb energy shot at him, and draw healing power from the soil of Florida. Boomstick: He’s a formidable fighter with very few limits. For example, when facing the villain Blizzard, he was frozen into a giant popsicle, but he just gathered his energy and shattered the ice. It’s bad for the oranges, I suppose. Wiz: He may be a corporate mascot, and you might see him on your placemat at the International House of Pancakes, but he’s no featherweight superhero. Boomstick: Yeah, that’d be the pits! (He he.) Pepsiman Wiz: Over in the States, you may not recognize him, but in the Land of the Rising Sun they have a superhero mascot – Pepsiman! Boomstick: Not much is known about this guy, who doesn’t even seem to be able to talk. But, there’re two things he can do – kick ass and run like the wind. Oh yeah, and magically recharge Pepsi machines. So, I guess that’s three. Wiz: In the 1996 Sega video game, Fighting Vipers, we see Pepsiman kicking all sorts of ass in a martial arts ring of death. He’s a martial arts expert whose speed and abilities make him a formidable opponent. Boomstick: And, in the 1999 PlayStation video game, Pepsiman, we get to see our hero outrace trucks, motorcycles, falling giant Pepsi cans of doom, and all sorts of crap. Wiz: And, create Pepsi out of thin air. Boomstick: Now if he could do that with beer, we’d really be talking. Say, why don’t we have Pepsiman face off against Bud Man, that'd be awesome! Intermission Wiz: Shut up, Boomstick! Alright the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: Its time for a DEATH BATTLE! DEATH BATTLE! Pre-Fight John Polk was working on an orange tree with a damaged limb. The Sun was shining, filling his whole body with warmth as he ran his hand over the limb. The damage wasn’t too bad, and the limb would not have to come off. Suddenly, a shiver ran up John’s spine. He looked up at the Sun, which was still shining just as brightly, but the day seemed inexplicably colder now. A look of determination crossed his face; he would get to the bottom of this now. “It’s time for Captain Citrus!” he announced. There was a flash of light, and John was now Captain Citrus! He flew up into air, and began to survey the ground below him. * * * Pepsiman ran up to the disabled Pepsi truck, immediately spotting the two flattened tires. “Thank God you’re here, Pepsiman!” the drive exclaimed. “There’s a UF game today, and if the kids don’t get Pepsi, they’ll riot!” The drive pushed his blue cap, and scratched his forehead. “Kids these days, eh?” he sighed. Suddenly a noise caught the two men’s attention, and they looked up to see a costumed man flying towards them. The driver squeaked in fear and bolted for the cab of the truck. Pepsiman realized that he needed to see to the needs of the Millennials at the University quickly, and began running towards Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. Captain Citrus saw the running man in the shiny costume, and wanted to know what he was running for. He had a suspicion that whatever it was it was not a good and healthy reason. The chase was on! FIGHT! Captain Citrus chased the running man down the road, marveling at his speed and agility. He ran around trucks and past motorcycles. When beams of wood began falling off a truck, the man leaped over them or under them without missing a step. Captain Citrus pointed his hand at the bright and shining man, and began firing blasts of solar energy at him. Without turning around Pepsiman dodged and ducked each blast. John Polk, though, knew this area like the back of his hand, and he knew how he could use his flying ability to catch up to the speeding runner. He flew up and over a low hill, around another, cutting a corner on the road, and approaching it from the side. He smiled when the silver and blue speedster shot out from under an overpass. He caromed into him, taking him totally by surprise. The two opponents flew off the road and into a flat field. They rolled over and over with the momentum, and then leaped up into their respective fighting stances. Pepsiman shot forward and fired a series of punches at Captain Citrus, forcing him back. Then, he kicked him once and then again, knocking the Captain onto his back. Before he could react, Pepsiman took a flying leap, and landed like a pile-driver on his head. Pepsiman leaped up and back, dropping into his fighting stance, while Captain Citrus leaped up and did the same. He loosed a punch at Pepsiman, who grabbed his arm and threw him forward, where he fell to the ground. More sensing than seeing the coming attack, Captain Citrus rolled, and heard a satisfying noise when his opponent hit the ground that he had evacuated. They both leaped to their feet, and then attacked again. Captain Citrus blocked a kick aimed at his head, and then punched out, connecting forcing his opponent back. Suddenly, Pepsiman lashed out with a powerful kick, connecting and sending Captain Citrus flying across the field. Pepsiman ran forward and leaped, coming down hard on Captain Citrus as he lay on the ground. He jumped up, and before his opponent could get upright, he grabbed him and flipped in over. He leaped, and came down hard on him again. K.O.? Pepsiman looked down on his fallen foe, and began to walk away. It was a hard fight, but his victory was never in doubt. All of a sudden, a noise behind him captured his attention. He turned to look back, and the plants of the field had wrapped themselves around Captain Citrus. Suddenly, the orange-and-gold superhero leaped to his feet, and snarled at Pepsiman. He flexed his muscles, and created a solid light spear and shield. Pepsiman charged again at his opponent, who braced for the attack. Pepsiman crashed against the Captain’s shield, testing its strength. When the man lashed out with his spear, Pepsiman grabbed it, and wrenched it out of his hand. He turned to move away from Captain Citrus, when the spear suddenly winked out of existence, leaving him staring at his own empty hand. Captain Citrus called a new solid light spear into existence, and leaped behind Pepsiman. He grabbed the spear in two hands, and dropped it down over his opponent’s head, drawing it tight against his throat. Captain Citrus braced his body and held on tightly as Pepsiman strained against the spear. The Captain pulled and pulled, and suddenly there was the sound of tearing metal. A brown foam seemed to erupt from Pepsiman, spraying into Captain Citrus’s face. He stepped back and terminated the solid light spear. Then he began wiping his face. Just what was this liquid? It was sticky and acidic, but it didn’t seem to be causing him any damage. Suddenly, he looked down at his fallen opponent. His head had come away from his body, exposing an empty shell from which flowed a frothy brown fluid. Captain Citrus looked down in disgust as the fluid flowed out from the metal figure and into the soil below. K.O.! Captain Citrus picked up the empty shell of his opponent, and poured out the last drops liquid. Then he took the body and dropped it into a nearby recycling bin. He smiled to himself, and flew off back towards his parent’s farm. After that exertion, he needed a thirst quenching glass of fresh orange juice! Results Boomstick: Well, wasn’t that an explosive ending? Wiz: Pepsiman was a formidable fighter, with super speed and excellent fighting abilities, while Captain Citrus had his solar energy weapons. Boomstick: However, Captain Citrus’s ace in the hole was his regenerative abilities. You see, while he was in contact with the rich soil of the Florida orange-growing area, it would keep healing him. Wiz: As such, Pepsiman was in the same position of someone fighting Antaeus... Boomstick: Who? Wiz: A Greek hero who was the son of Poseidon and Gaia… Boomstick: Oh yeah, that was DC Comics, right? Wiz: Sigh While Antaeus was in contact with the ground, he would be healed. Hercules only succeeded in beating him by holding him off of the ground in a killer bear-hug. Boomstick: And, unlike that Auntie guy, Captain Citrus was powerful enough that he was able to parley his healing into a victory. In the end Pepsiman simply lost his head. Wiz: The winner is Captain Citrus. Next Time Ah, the gorilla-my-dreams. Next time on Death Battle! we bring two simian power houses together for a no-holds-barred battle together. That’s right, it’s Beringel vs. Winston, and may the best man...er, ape win! Trivia * This is the second Death Battle featuring Captain Citrus to actually be completed. Poll How many stars would you rate Captain Citrus vs. Pepsiman? 5 stars 4 stars 3 stars 2 stars 1 star Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:I'm Lynda Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:'Hero vs. Hero' Themed Death Battle Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:'Mascots' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2017